Wednesday, May 30, 2012

More to come

I plan on talking more about the situation when I get some time, so stay around!

The Update

Well it's been awhile since I've last posted and there still seemed to be interest in the story so I figure I'd give an update to everyone. I was going to post on the original thread but it is now archived so it doesn't let me.
TL;DR: I'm a closeted bi guy, friend is "straight" Met him in college, initially no feelings or attraction, but we became best friends then roommates and a bromance developed. We did things like go to the gym, eat, go to the movies, go out together etc. We were known by our friends as being like a married couple... we got a little too close and one night the inevitable happened-- things got a little real and we ended up making out. Feelings ensued and ever since then we have a sort of dysfunctional friendship where we have feelings for oneanother but we don't really act out on them and don't talk about the incident, especially because the other guy is very uncomfortable with his sexuality.
And now the UPDATE: Where to start? Things haven't changed that much over time, but there have definitely been some events that have influenced our relationship.
First and foremost I started seeing Adam a bit less because he's not the social type and would never want to go out on the weekends. I am the opposite and the thought of just bumming around during the weekend wasn't really appealing especially during senior year of college. During that time(3 months ago) I met a very attractive girl who, unlike Adam, was always willing to be social and go out with me and have a good time at the bar. We developed a strong friendship and eventually started hooking up. I liked her alot and she was definitely girlfriend material but graduation was rapidly approaching and she would be moving back to her homestate afterwards for at least a year. While I was with her I noticed that while I was attracted to her it just wasn't the same connection I had with Adam. It was clear my self-imposed break from him wasn't working.
Fast forward to about a month ago, I'm getting further frustrated with Adam's inability to man up to his feelings and his continued games that I decided it was time to make him feel bad/jealous/ maybe find someone else(I know it's terrible). So, one night me and a bunch of friends are drinking at a party and I start chatting it up with a really attractive, sweet guy who I'd only met a few times (we'll call him Mike). He recently broke up with his girlfriend, and my gay/bi-dar was going off the charts. At this point we're all extremely wasted and I'm ignoring Adam and just sat the whole night on the couch with Mike talking about things. One thing leads to another and we eventually decide we should ditch everyone and go to his place "to smoke." One thing leads to another and well you know what happens. The next day all my friends were joking around with me saying how me and Mike were so adorable together as friends and where'd we disappear to . Obviously I just told them we went to smoke. One friend makes a joke about how we were practically making out with one another at the party, and Adam goes along with it and jokes too-- obviously he's getting extremely jealous which at this point was making me ecstatic(I know, not cool). Me and Mike hook up a few other times; I start liking him and I think my feelings for Adam are starting to fade.
Fast forward to a week ago-- few nights before graduation me a bunch of friends and Adam are all coming back in a taxi from a big senior year celebration. There are four of us cramped in the back Me Adam, one of our guy friends and his girlfriend/our mutual friend. Again, we're drunk and our friend and his gf start cuddling next to eachother, and me and Adam start holding eachother as well. I have my arm around him and eventually he falls asleep on my chest and I fall asleep on his shoulder. We stayed that way through the whole ride (40 minutes) and didn't care that our friends saw it all. That's when I realized we still have something together and no matter how much I tried I just couldn't feel the way I did about him with anyone else.
And to the present: Graduation was a week ago, we both moved back home (unemployed) for at least the summer. We don't know what we're going to do as far as our housing situation once we get jobs and summer ends-- maybe we'll be roomates again. We only live about 15-20 minutes from eachother so for the time being we still hang out.
TL;DR 2: I experiment with another girl and another guy because Adam is still not comfortable expressing himself and I was starting to feel like I was wasting time. Feelings start fading, but then come back when I realize it's not the same. Graduation comes and now there's no telling what our future holds-- but we will still always be bros.
Anyway feel free to ask questions! I love answering them.

My Story

From Reddit (7 months ago): I recommend everyone click this link and go through it as to get the back story and understand the dynamic between the two of us before reading the rest of this blog.
IAmA guy whose bromance has turned into a gay relationship, yet neither of us admit it

Met first day of college, been best friends for the past three years. People joke around and say we're like a married couple. At first it was very platonic but recently things have changed.
We don't go a day without seeing one another. We eat, go to the gym, and go out of our way to be alone with one another. If we go out to a bar and one of us is talking to a girl we will go out of our way to cockblock one another. Needless to say, neither of us has hooked up with a girl in a while. If I'm talking to or give my attention to another attractive guy, I'll get a "so, who was THAT?!" followed by a jealous expression. We argue like boyfriend and girlfriend....we then make up and play fight by wrestling/teasing/tickling one another which brings us to now...
one of those play fights got a little out of control and ended up in a drunken make out session which neither of us will admit to.
I'd say we're pretty much in a defacto relationship, yet neither of us will admit to it. And yes.. we both thought of eachother as straight.

Hey everyone

First post: Hey all, just figured I start a blog about my story. It got very popular on Reddit but the Mods decided to delete it because they said it was too common a topic (even though its not). There is still a large amount of interest so I'll be posting here as a way to show what's going on with me and Adam and my life, and what my thoughts are from time to time.